Same Auld Lang Syne
Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve
She didn't recognize the face at first
But then her eyes flew open wide
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse
And we laughed until we cried
We took her groceries to the checkout stand
The food was totaled up and bagged
We stood there lost in our embarrassment
As the conversation dragged
We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldn't find an open bar
We bought a six pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car
CHORUS:
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
We tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how
She said she'd married her an architect
Who kept her warm and safe and dry
She would've liked to said she loved the man
But she didn't like to lie
I said the years had been a friend to her
And that her eyes were still as blue
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I
Saw doubt or gratitude
She said she saw me in the record store
And that I must be doing well
I said the audience was heavenly
But the traveling was hell
CHORUS
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to time
Living in our eloquence
Another auld lang syne
The beer was empty and our tongues were tired
And running out of things to say
She gave a kiss to me as I got out
And I watched her drive away
Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain
Dan Fogelberg
Feels as if I have heard this song over the radio every Christmas of my life… Never really was one of my favorite songs, never seemed catchy or Christmassy, no upbeat catchy little tune to sing along to… Just the most melancholy sound played diligently on every holiday station year after year…
But, this year this song just crept up behind me right along with the holidays and surprisingly found a way to take center stage right in the epicenter of the rest of the madness… Somehow, this year, at least to me, this quiet, gentle song has become the most entrancing act on that stage… The one that stops me in my tracks as I pause to reflect, admire, and ponder its depth… The very last one in the world I thought I would or ever could possibly connect to…
After all, I have Blue, I have our love, I have all that we share together, the rich history that we have shared and I have hope. Hope that I cup in my small hands like the most fragile baby animal you know needs your help… will not make it solely on its own left to its own devices and the sometimes cruel world around it.
Yet there is something in this song that haunts me… something I can not seem to find peace with until I know that I have looked it in the eye, faced it for all it is/was, and acknowledge the fact that it could have so easily just have taken center stage long ago…
Long ago, when Blue and I were young, poor, newly married, and literally scavenging to make our way together in this world… many times with no more to our names then our own love to hold it all together…
And as in all of life’s twists, turns, and tests, I just so happened to be working as an up and coming nanny to the elite in our local society and economy…
During the day while at work, my life was literally draped in silk, caviar, “good” wine, diamonds, old mahogany, days at the country club and a world that could not be further removed from my own… And after hours, it was an entirely different place… Forget the silk; we could barely afford the cotton…
Sometimes, I still scratch my head wondering how I ever found my way into that other world… Was it my ideals, my love for children that I could work my way seamlessly into a family’s life and pick up the slack they never knew was there, or was it completely for a different reason, one closely intertwined with fate…? I suppose I never will know, but I do know that those experiences helped make Blue and I much of who we are today…
I shudder to think of all the times that I considered tossing it all away… trading love with Blue for the money… for that other life filled with more glitter and glam, for the other man… The one that the families I nannied for would often present to me on a silver platter… The one they insisted rode that white horse, and could more then afford to ride me off into the sunset… The one they “knew” I should choose over Blue… And I will admit, there were times I was tempted, times that I was made to feel bad over my choice, times I was tossed back to the curb in my rags as the carriage rode off with out me… and this happened… this happened more times then I care to even count… and each time I walked away in shame wondering what I had done wrong, what was so wrong with Blue that everyone tried so hard to pull me away from him…
Well, looking back, I can honestly say that there was nothing wrong with him or me for that matter. We were in many ways the same people we are today… just with a lot less of everything, experience being on the top of the list. Blue was and still is the guy that will cut intricate shapes in paper to use to make a powdered sugar design on the pancakes he makes me for breakfast, he is the one that I turn to first with all my thoughts, the one that still after all this time knows how to kiss away the pain, the one that makes life fun, the one that holds the key to my heart, and the codes to it’s many combinations… and he is still the one that I still love with all of my heart…
Life has changed so much for us, and although we still see the long curvy road ahead of us, we smile inside knowing that it is together that we will be going for the ride… And as that song plays on the radio this year, I take stock of my/our life and I realize just how easily it could have all been different… With my heart full of love, my eyes with tears, and hope that could conquer all, I know that I am right where I need to be… right where I am meant to be… And although in that other life, my Christmas “may” have been warmed by cashmere, brilliant fires at the hottest ski resorts, and perhaps an endless string of lavish parties and charity events… I know that as in the song, one look, one stolen moment shared with Blue/remembering the life I (almost) left… and all that snow would have turned in to rain…
Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve
She didn't recognize the face at first
But then her eyes flew open wide
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse
And we laughed until we cried
We took her groceries to the checkout stand
The food was totaled up and bagged
We stood there lost in our embarrassment
As the conversation dragged
We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But couldn't find an open bar
We bought a six pack at the liquor store
And we drank it in her car
CHORUS:
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
We tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how
She said she'd married her an architect
Who kept her warm and safe and dry
She would've liked to said she loved the man
But she didn't like to lie
I said the years had been a friend to her
And that her eyes were still as blue
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I
Saw doubt or gratitude
She said she saw me in the record store
And that I must be doing well
I said the audience was heavenly
But the traveling was hell
CHORUS
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to time
Living in our eloquence
Another auld lang syne
The beer was empty and our tongues were tired
And running out of things to say
She gave a kiss to me as I got out
And I watched her drive away
Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home
The snow turned into rain
Dan Fogelberg
Feels as if I have heard this song over the radio every Christmas of my life… Never really was one of my favorite songs, never seemed catchy or Christmassy, no upbeat catchy little tune to sing along to… Just the most melancholy sound played diligently on every holiday station year after year…
But, this year this song just crept up behind me right along with the holidays and surprisingly found a way to take center stage right in the epicenter of the rest of the madness… Somehow, this year, at least to me, this quiet, gentle song has become the most entrancing act on that stage… The one that stops me in my tracks as I pause to reflect, admire, and ponder its depth… The very last one in the world I thought I would or ever could possibly connect to…
After all, I have Blue, I have our love, I have all that we share together, the rich history that we have shared and I have hope. Hope that I cup in my small hands like the most fragile baby animal you know needs your help… will not make it solely on its own left to its own devices and the sometimes cruel world around it.
Yet there is something in this song that haunts me… something I can not seem to find peace with until I know that I have looked it in the eye, faced it for all it is/was, and acknowledge the fact that it could have so easily just have taken center stage long ago…
Long ago, when Blue and I were young, poor, newly married, and literally scavenging to make our way together in this world… many times with no more to our names then our own love to hold it all together…
And as in all of life’s twists, turns, and tests, I just so happened to be working as an up and coming nanny to the elite in our local society and economy…
During the day while at work, my life was literally draped in silk, caviar, “good” wine, diamonds, old mahogany, days at the country club and a world that could not be further removed from my own… And after hours, it was an entirely different place… Forget the silk; we could barely afford the cotton…
Sometimes, I still scratch my head wondering how I ever found my way into that other world… Was it my ideals, my love for children that I could work my way seamlessly into a family’s life and pick up the slack they never knew was there, or was it completely for a different reason, one closely intertwined with fate…? I suppose I never will know, but I do know that those experiences helped make Blue and I much of who we are today…
I shudder to think of all the times that I considered tossing it all away… trading love with Blue for the money… for that other life filled with more glitter and glam, for the other man… The one that the families I nannied for would often present to me on a silver platter… The one they insisted rode that white horse, and could more then afford to ride me off into the sunset… The one they “knew” I should choose over Blue… And I will admit, there were times I was tempted, times that I was made to feel bad over my choice, times I was tossed back to the curb in my rags as the carriage rode off with out me… and this happened… this happened more times then I care to even count… and each time I walked away in shame wondering what I had done wrong, what was so wrong with Blue that everyone tried so hard to pull me away from him…
Well, looking back, I can honestly say that there was nothing wrong with him or me for that matter. We were in many ways the same people we are today… just with a lot less of everything, experience being on the top of the list. Blue was and still is the guy that will cut intricate shapes in paper to use to make a powdered sugar design on the pancakes he makes me for breakfast, he is the one that I turn to first with all my thoughts, the one that still after all this time knows how to kiss away the pain, the one that makes life fun, the one that holds the key to my heart, and the codes to it’s many combinations… and he is still the one that I still love with all of my heart…
Life has changed so much for us, and although we still see the long curvy road ahead of us, we smile inside knowing that it is together that we will be going for the ride… And as that song plays on the radio this year, I take stock of my/our life and I realize just how easily it could have all been different… With my heart full of love, my eyes with tears, and hope that could conquer all, I know that I am right where I need to be… right where I am meant to be… And although in that other life, my Christmas “may” have been warmed by cashmere, brilliant fires at the hottest ski resorts, and perhaps an endless string of lavish parties and charity events… I know that as in the song, one look, one stolen moment shared with Blue/remembering the life I (almost) left… and all that snow would have turned in to rain…
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